A Letter to My Marleygirl

My sweet Marley,

It's been a good run my girl. It's been 14 years that we were together and I am so grateful you were in my life. The joy, sanity, laughter, adventure and tears have been priceless.

I remember the day that I got you, on some farm in Bloomington. You were the biggest in your litter, but somehow, you ended up being a tiny Chow. I had no idea what I was getting into, but I'm glad I did. You were a tiny black bundle of fur when I brought you home. I have to say, you were the best puppy anyone could want. You were so mellow and aside from those occasional electric cords you chewed, it was a breeze. I do remember though, that first time we went on a walk and you just decided that you weren't going to walk anymore, well, from that moment on, you knew I was wrapped around your paw as I carried you home. I got an inkling of your personality pretty quickly as well. When you were so stubborn, you refused to look at the camera. Little did I know, I was looking at a mirror image of myself, but in a dog. If I said sit, you would stand. But you did learn and we grew together.

Those years I was in college gave you the opportunity to meet lots of people and dogs and was just the beginning of your adventures. You had lots of "aunties" who loved you and would go with us to Dunn Meadow to play. Watching you run back and forth with the other dogs was a joy. We had so much fun going to the lake every week and hiking around. Camping trips where you would scout out ahead. You were always so good and knew to stay around all of us. I guess the freedom I gave you really did pay off.

You put up with being Marley the Wonder Dog when I used to put those red and blue underwear on you, but hey, I cut out a hole for your tail. And then, you went and did it. Now I blame myself, for not getting you spayed quick enough, but did you have to be such a hussy? I remember you bolting out the door when I was taking my bike out and off you went with that huge black lab. I was a mess trying to find you. I remember walking back to the house hours later and there you sat, soaking wet, and I swear you had the biggest grin on your face. My girl the slut. So I scolded you after the relief set in. Well, about 2 months later, I noticed you were getting fat. Hmmm, that wasn't fat, that was a litter of puppies. So I think about a month later, you went into labor. I remembered watching you push out 6 of the most adorable puppies. You let me sit next to you, and when one came out, I would pick it up and put it by your mouth to clean. Well, I messed up and I took this as a serious responsibility. Six puppies. It was a joy to watch them grow and to see what a wonderful mom you were. We found homes for every single one of them. I know by that time, you were pretty tired of being a mommy.

After college, we got a little time in the country, living with my mom and dad. You loved it. Plus you got so spoiled. I remember walking you by the farm with the cows. My oh my, how they loved you. As we walked along the fence, there would be a train of cows following you. I still don't know what it was, guess they were just all sweet on you.

So the time came for both of us to be on our own and you were my co-pilot on the adventure that brought us both to San Diego. We drove across country and you sat there next to me, listening to me talk and talk and talk. You definitely earned your keep with that. I remember driving cross country and pointing out all the farms. You were crazy about the horses. As soon as I would say the word, up you went. Good thing you couldn't get out of the window. Once we arrived in San Diego, you become my strength and sanity. It was a new city with not a lot of friends. You kept me sane and got me out of the house for walks. You showed me again, what a best friend is. People always say they have to get rid of their pets because they are moving, or their new place doesn't take them. It kills me. It's not an option. I remember when we were looking for a place and the stress, but through it all, I knew I would rather sleep in my car then ever even consider getting rid of my girl.

Then came the day, when I met your soon to be daddy. I'll tell you, my love for you, and all animals is what attracted us. He was an animal person too and welcomed and loved you as much as I did. Oh, and also those two new sisters as well. We were worried about bringing all of you girls together, but it worked out in the end. Now your dad had 4 ladies around him....lucky guy. So these last four or five years have been awesome. A new family and lots of love. Trips to the dog park and dog beach.

It never even dawned on me that you were getting older. Seriously, you acted and looked like a young dog for so long, but time catches up to us all I guess. It started gradually and I thought to myself, my girl is actually getting old. You slowed down a bit, but thats to be expected. It was a year ago when you started to really slow down, but it was arthritis, we can treat that, and you were a champ. Your sissy Sierra got sick and she fought a good fight, but in the end, the cancer was to much. We all mourned the loss of her and still miss her. You and Nala went on, a little slower, a little grayer, but still ok. Then a couple of months ago, I noticed you seemed a bit run down, so off to your favorite place, the vet. I never expected to walk out later knowing you were sick. At first we were hoping it was the bladder infection that made your kidneys seem off. So antibiotics started and then another round of tests. It didn't look good, the kidneys weren't looking better.

Then I started to realize that my girl was really sick. I wasn't ready to give up and started researching how to help you. I found info and it looked like with treatment, we could have more time together...at least another year.

We tried. You are a fighter. Even when nothing worked, you kept on fighting. You fought the good fight. There comes a point though, as your caretaker, that I couldn't watch you go through that pain. Everyday, twice a day, I forced the pills down your throat. You kept on fighting and as much as you hated it and struggled, you never snapped at me. You tolerated the needles and fluid with as much grace as you could, better than me, that's for sure. Then I realized that it wasn't helping and that we were just making you miserable. Your poor kidneys just were just about done. The arthritis came on with a vengeance as well. I watched you wobble around and it finally got to the point that even one step on the patio gave you anxiety and you couldn't do it. My strong sweet girl was suffering. So the decision had to be made on how long were you going to suffer and how bad. Today I let you go and it broke my heart. You were my baby, my sister, my friend. I didn't want to let you go, but in the end, that is the final gift I gave you. I held you in my arms and let you go at the same time. My heart hurts and feels empty. But I know I did the right thing. You were a warrior till the end my sweet girl.

Marley my girl, you were an ambassador for your breed. You were the sweetest Chow and everyone who got to know you realized that. You were the sweetest gentlest girl and till the end, you had grace. I will miss how you always slept next to me and how you always watched over me. I will miss your quirkiness, your stubbornness, and your independence. I will miss the cat/dog. I will miss your little Frito smelling feet. Your daddy misses you and your sister misses you. When I put my hand down next to the bed to feel for you and to pet you, there will now be a void that you filled for so long. All that hurt though is worth the freedom you gained today from the pain. Life continues, but there is a big paw print from you on my heart. It will be branded there forever. You were there for me during the hardest times and I thank you. You taught me how to be a good caretaker and the lessons learned from you will be imprinted on all the other boys and girls we will rescue.

You left an imprint on all that have known you. Those that got the chance to know you I hope, have a paw print on their hearts as well. I love you my girl. Play now with your sister Sierra, where there is no pain, and a limitless supply of squirrels to chase. Someday we will be together again and I know you will be as obstinate and sweet as ever. I look forward to that someday.

I miss you dearly.

Your mom, your friend, your sister.